You are color. Your biggest fear is living a normal life. A stifled life. A boring life. A 9-5, fluorescent filled, gray cubicle life. The kind of security the average suburbian dreams of is your slow poison. And so is the thought of being average. It brings you to the edge of insanity even more so than the thought of settling.
You are connection. You crave it, you feel lifeless without it. You are the fine line between introvert and extrovert - it changes depending on who you're with. Certain people light a fire in you... and you're always searching for more of them. Deep conversation turns you on, almost as much as passion. You have no use for surfacey conversations and relationships. You want to go deeper. You crave realness. Raw emotion.
You are misunderstood. You value meaning over money. You'd rather scrape by doing what you love, than thrive through compromise. Materialism is bullshit. You view the world boldly. Conventionalism makes you cringe. Full of endless questions, you want to understand things - and people deeply.
You are passion. And when you see it in others, you immediately feel connected to them. They bring you to life because you know they get it. You thrive off the energy that comes from pursuing your passions, but sometimes it's a curse. You struggle to find focus among the sea of things you love. Choosing a direction seems so impossible at times. You often dive into unknown waters, just hoping to be able to sustain yourself, somehow.
You are innovation. Forever restless. Always reinventing. Up late because your mind won't stop running, you are full of endless ideas and dreams you have no idea how to execute. And likely never will. Harnessing your thoughts is difficult because you don't like harnessing anything. Especially yourself.
You are feeling. You feel too much, but it's necessary. To create meaningful art or words or photos, you have to feel, to empathize. You often find yourself in destructive relationships - is it your fault? Do you destroy to create? You wonder sometimes. You hate the torture of it all, but it's better than feeling numb. Anything is better than feeling nothing.
To all of the artists, creators, and dreamers out there: I get you. I am you. And it's a strange and wonderful struggle. I have no answers for you, no solutions. Fortunately, there is no cure to all encompassing right-brained madness.
So continue on pushing through the convention, the usual, the average, the boring.
And pierce that darkness with your fire.
Wondering who's the mysterious wordy genius behind these posts? Follow this little rabbit trail to read more About Me! The use of the term genius is open to interpretation. Like just about everything else on this site.